From Lisbon to Tallinn, smartphones have become inseparable companions. But as our digital lives expand, a quieter crisis is unfolding in living rooms and bedrooms across the continent: the habit of ignoring a partner in favour of a screen, known as "phubbing."
Phubbing—short for phone snubbing—describes the act of glancing at your device while your partner is speaking, or scrolling through social media during a shared meal. A related pattern, "technoference," refers to any interruption of couple time caused by technology, from constant notifications to work calls that bleed into evenings. Both are increasingly common in European households, where the average person now spends hours each day on their phone.
What the data says
A 2025 study published in the journal Human Behavior and Emerging Technologies used objective phone-tracking data—rather than self-reports—to measure how often people use their phones around their partners. The results were striking: participants used their smartphones during 27% of the time they spent with their partner, and 86% used their phone daily in their partner's presence.
The study linked this behaviour to lower relationship satisfaction and poorer co-parenting quality, as well as higher levels of depression and reduced life satisfaction. Notably, the negative effects were more pronounced for women. While the research was conducted in the United States, its implications resonate across Europe, where smartphone penetration is similarly high and couples face the same digital dilemmas.
Of course, technology is not all bad. It helps couples stay in touch across distances, coordinate schedules, and bond over shared streaming habits. The problem arises when digital habits start to crowd out genuine connection.
Digital privacy: a new frontier for couples
Beyond phubbing, couples today must navigate a minefield of digital privacy questions that previous generations never faced. Should you tag your partner in photos? Make your relationship status public? Follow each other's mutual friends? These may seem trivial, but they can spark real friction.
One of the most contentious issues is device access. Some couples share passwords freely; others guard their phones like diaries. Location sharing is another flashpoint. A Civic Science report from last year found that around 52% of Americans share their location with a spouse or partner—a trend that is also visible in Europe, where apps like Find My and Google Maps location sharing are widely used.
Disagreements can also arise over home security cameras, smart speakers, and what personal information to share when shopping online, particularly with rising concerns about scams and data breaches. For many, these are not just technical decisions but reflections of deeper values around autonomy and trust.
Bridging the gap
So how can couples in Europe—and beyond—find common ground? The first step, according to relationship resource Love Respect, is simply to talk. Discuss what each of you is comfortable sharing online, and be clear about your own boundaries. Stay calm and specific.
It may help to set explicit social media rules: agree on whether to tag each other, post photos, or share relationship statuses. For location sharing, consider temporary sharing or turning off real-time tracking to ease tension. Keeping phone and email passwords separate can also preserve a sense of personal autonomy.
Small compromises can go a long way. Instead of an all-day live tracking app, agree to send regular updates while travelling. If conversations become heated, take a break and revisit the topic later. For couples who struggle to reach an agreement, a counsellor can provide neutral ground.
As Europe continues to lead in digital innovation—from the digital euro initiative to thriving tech hubs in cities like Berlin and Barcelona—our personal relationships are evolving alongside our devices. The challenge is to ensure that technology serves us, not the other way around.
Ultimately, phubbing is not just a personal failing but a symptom of a broader cultural shift. By being mindful of our habits and communicating openly with our partners, we can protect the human connections that matter most.
