New research from McGill University in Canada challenges the widely held belief that caring for others is always good for your mental health. The study, published in the journal Mindfulness, suggests that compassion only contributes to well-being when it is balanced with compassion for oneself.
Researchers led by Bassam Khoury, a professor in McGill's Department of Educational and Counselling Psychology, analyzed data from more than 1,200 participants. They classified individuals into different “compassion profiles” based on questionnaires measuring compassion toward the self, other humans, and animals.
The findings, which have implications for caregivers, educators, health professionals, and parents across Europe and beyond, indicate that those who show high levels of compassion toward themselves, other people, and animals exhibit the most adaptive psychological functioning. This includes optimal mental health, emotional resilience, and social well-being.
In contrast, people who are compassionate toward others but neglect themselves tend to experience higher levels of stress and anxiety, lower life satisfaction, and greater social isolation. “Many people, especially caregivers, educators, health professionals, parents and activists, may be very caring toward others while being harsh or neglectful toward themselves,” said Khoury. He added that this imbalance “may be linked to poorer mental health.”
Why self-compassion matters
The study's authors argue that self-compassion is not selfish but a necessary foundation for sustainable caregiving. “Self-compassion may help people regulate difficult emotions, reduce self-criticism and create a sense of inner safety,” Khoury explained. This inner safety allows individuals to extend genuine care to others without burning out.
The research comes at a time when mental health challenges are rising across Europe, from the stress of geopolitical crises to the pressures of modern work life. In countries like Germany, where debates about longer working hours are ongoing, the balance between professional dedication and personal well-being is a pressing issue.
The study also highlights the role of compassion toward animals, which was included in the assessment. Participants who showed kindness to animals, alongside self-compassion and compassion for humans, were among the most psychologically resilient.
Khoury and his team suggest that interventions aimed at boosting well-being should focus on cultivating self-compassion as a complement to other-oriented compassion. This could be particularly relevant for mental health services in the European Union, where burnout among healthcare workers has been a persistent concern.
The findings are a reminder that caring for others without caring for oneself is not sustainable. As the researchers put it, “compassion only counts when it includes the self.” For Europeans navigating demanding roles at home and work, the message is clear: to be truly kind to others, one must also be kind to oneself.
